Rough,

So this year, my senior year,
Has gotten off to a rough start,
And most of it was of my own doing.

I don't know what my problem is,
But I can't seem to grasp hold,
Of what is really bothering me.

I don't like feeling this way,
But it happens every so often,
Though this time round it's lasting longer.

I don't know what to think,
I feel as though I'm falling through the cracks,
With no one to help.

I feel as though I'm falling into,
An abyss, while not a single person,
Is taking notice.

I feel as though I could disappear,
And no one would even notice,
Or miss my absence.

I feel as though I could be diagnosed,
With Cancer, and no one would mind,
As though if I died, no one would notice.

Maybe one day I will find out,
Who would notice,
And who wouldn't.

The Best..

My friends are some of the best people you could ever hope to meet.
Here they are, in no particular order:

1.Jessie, I have known you the longest, and I love you, you are my little sister. Without you, I would be lost, No Joke. Haha. You are one of the best, don't ever let anyone tell you any different. We understand each other on some weird level, sometimes we can finish each others sentences. Sometimes, we are weird, very weird, and neither one of us cares if we look like idiots, coz who cares what everyone else thinks?

2. Keyla, We have gotten pretty close this year, you actually listen to my complaints and what nots, and I love you for it. I'm very happy for you and Trevor, he treats you like the little princess you are. And YAY he's not a computer relationship, Haha.
You are one of the best.

3. Noel, even though you get on my nerves sometimes, I still love you. You are a good friend, and I don't care what everyone else thinks about you. Don't let them see you fall sweetheart, keep your head up high. You are weird, and I respect you for that.

4. Haley, what can I say about you? You are one of the most random people I know. You are creative, and funny, and are such a people pleaser. Well, we haven't really been friends that much this year, for stupid reasons. Overall, you are one of the best. But I still don't think that things will ever be the same between us, I really don't. I don't know how much we will stay in contact with each other after high school, we will have to see how things play out. I hope that one day you can learn how to take control of your life, with the help of God, and that you will be able to stand up for yourself, because right now, you aren't too good at that.

5. Paulie, Whether you like it or not, I consider you one of my best friends. You poor thing, I tell you everything, and we totally fight like brother and sister. You are a good friend, and overall, you are a good guy. And I wouldn't have it any other way. =D But maybe we should lay off the violence?? Just a little??

6. Joan, you are by far my oldest friend, after all, you are old. Haha, just kidding, you know I love you. Though I must say, you are like another grandma to me, even though you don't act your age, at all. I love it. You give good advice too, but I usually don't listen to it.

Frustration.. I'm getting there..

I'm trying to get a phone with unlimited texting. I need it, badly. I go through so many minutes texting on my stupid prepaid phone, it ain't funny. Almost everyone I know has unlimited texting, but you see, we are on a very tight budget, and I've been snooping around trying to find the best and cheapest deal.. Haven't come up with anything much to be honest, maybe it's not the right time for me to get it? I don't know, I'm about to my witsss end, and believe, most nothing ever bothers me, so yea. Witsssss end takes awhile to get to. But,, Oh well, I maybe aren't meant to have it. I'll keep looking around to see what I can find. Tell me, which is better... Sprint has unlimited texting for $49.99, with 450 anytime minutes and unlimited nights and weekends with anyone on any netowrk, which I would never use, Orr,, AT&T has 450 anytime minutes, with rollover minutes each month, for $39.99 plus $20 for unlimited texting. I'm thinking AT&T because they have rollover, which Sprint does not. I don't know. I'm going to talk to my mom to figure out my options.

This Is It..

I was highly disappointed
In my fellow students Wednesday,
Let me tell ya about it?

My friend and I went to go see
This Is It, the amazing MJ movie,
And we had a bit of a struggle.

You see, she is in a wheelchair
Which is of course no big deal,
But I couldn't get her chair in my car.

In the parking lot of our high school
I failed for several minutes,
Trying to disassemble her chair.

Not a single person
Offered to help me,
In a full parking lot.

Instead they watched my struggle
And did nothing,
Nothing.

When leaving the building
We had to go down one step,
Paulie helped us. Didn't even have to ask.

Making Up and Moving Forward..

People make mistakes,
I didn't realize that
The choices I made would effect others.

I've made mistakes and so have you,
But, I guess that doesn't mean I need to give up
Our friendship was real, let's get back on track?

Things aren't going to be easy,
We've spent quite a lot of time apart
And yet I know when we start talking, things will work out.

I think things will get better,
But we have a lot of work to do
That's all.

So I see

I see that you have made your choice,
I see what matters more,
And who is more important.
Things can never be the same,
From here on out,
I thought the friendship that we shared.
Was something worth fighting for,
Now I see how wrong I was,
So consider this.
My two weeks notice,
I have no more fight in me,
Goodbye my once upon a time best friend.

So many thoughts, I can't think straight.

Daily, I'm working on improving upon myself,
I see imperfections that others do not,
And I feel like I need to fix them.
Why? I didn't intend to ever be
What others wanted to see.
Why aren't I good enough for them?
Why do I feel the need
To conform to their idea
Of the right type of person?
I like to think that I know
Who I am, my morals
My beliefs, what I think is right or wrong.